Yes, you can find somewhat practical footwear this fall. For instance, lady loafers and block heels are offering a more comfy way to go retro, and platforms—everything from office-friendly maryjane versions to club-worthy concoctions—give you a more stable boost under the season’s flared pants. But if you’re looking to draw real attention, here are eight trends to watch. This is the footwear to pull on when you want to make a statement—and maybe just a little trouble.

Fashion collages by INGA LIM.

1. Naughty By Nature. Maybe it was the influence of Fifty Shades of Grey that inspired all the bondage-inspired details that appeared in many ready-to-wear collections last year and are now punching up footwear. Look for chains, ropes, skin-revealing cut-outs and boots that lace to way up there. How to wear it in real life: Tame a sultry ankle or knee-high boot by pairing it with a more restrained outfit such as a wool skirt or tailored A-line dress.

Clockwise from left: Giambattista Valli, Monique Lhuillier, Gucci, Emilio Pucci, Roberto Cavalli.

2. A Hairy Situation. We didn’t know whether to smile or run when furry, Muppet-like coats came down the runways last year. Either way, we shouldn’t be surprised that our shoes are now growing beards. Furry shoes aren’t particularly wearable, but they are conversation starters. How to wear it in real life: It doesn’t matter what you wear these puppies with, because they will steal the show. But we recommend limiting the fur to your tootsies, and avoiding the rain—because who wants feet that resemble drowned rats?

Dusty lavender fur mules by Maison Martin Margiela.

Clockwise from left: Salvatore Ferragamo, Vionnet, Dolce & Gabbana and Tibi.

3. Head Over Heels. From lipstick tubes suspended in Lucite to metal angles worthy of Frank Lloyd Wright, the details are in the heels this season. So whether you’re sporting one of fall’s minimalist pantsuits or a rocking a flashy ’80s-inspired dress, quirky heels add serious interest at ground level. How to wear it in real life: Pair the shoe with a likeminded outfit—a mod maryjane with a ’70s-inspired mini dress, for instance—to avoid mixing metaphors, and keep themes and architectural elements to a minimum.

Center: Versace yellow slingbacks. Left, top to bottom: Maison Margiela, BCBG, Roberto Cavalli, Monique Lhuillier. Right, top to bottom: Dolce & Gabbana, Jason Wu, Simone Rocha, Salvatore Ferragamo.

4. New Kids On the Block. Color blocking reaches a pinnacle this season, with suede patchwork, ’70s-ispired color combos and geometric patterns all competing for your attention. You’ll find this vibrant look on everything from ankle booties and block-heeled loafers to thigh-high boots and pumps. How to wear it in real life: While designers showed these blockheads with rainbow-patterned coats and other kaleidoscope-worthy ensembles, we suggest restricting your outfit to one or two hues and limiting the multicolored look to your tootsies. The effects will be mesmerizing but not maniacal.

Clockwise from left: Fendi, Miu Miu, Prabal Gurung, Just Cavalli.

5. String Theory. This look has been stringing us along for the past few seasons, but now fringe has moved from ready-to-wear to footwear. You don’t have to be a cowgirl to love western-inspired ankle boots, mules that seem to have been adorned with party streamers, and other attention-grabbing looks. How to wear it in real life: Again, keep it simple and limit this detail to below your ankle. Head-to-toe fringe screams rodeo, not Rodeo Drive.

Clockwise from left: Proenza Schouler, Rebecca Minkoff, Burberry Prorsum, Matthew Williamson.

6. Fancy Flourishes. If you’re one who likes to embellish, this is the season for you. Ornamental details like flowers, rhinestones, glitter and even plastic flowers can be found on everything from maryjanes to mules. Perfect for holiday dressing or date night, these adorable adornments can add some oomph to your wardrobe after a summer of flip-flops and espadrilles. How to wear it in real life: No limits here. It’s party time.

Clockwise from left: Studded slingback from Tory Burch. Green velvet maryjanes from Dolce & Gabbana. Rhinestone embellished block-heels from Céline. Floral rhinestone maryjanes from Dolce & Gabbana.

7. The Skinny. Knee-high, over-the-knee and thigh-high boots were all the rage last fall, and they’re back this year, slinkier and more form-fitting than before. Gals with skinny calves rejoice, because this babies will finally stay put, and those with curvier silhouettes may also find the added stretch flattering. How to wear it in real life: Pair a sky-high boot with a midi skirt or skinny jeans, or punctuate a mini skirt with a more classic knee-high version.

Clockwise from left: Calvin Klein black thigh-highs, Emilio Pucci black-and-white boots, Alberta Ferretti cinnamon suede thigh-highs, nude over-the-knee boots by Alexander McQueen, mod blue stretch boots by Bottega Veneta.

8. Cut It Out. Designers have been shaking their booties at us for the past couple years, but fall’s versions are hipper than ever. Taking a cue from the fun cut-outs we’ve been seeing on dresses and separates, these slip-on or zip-up looks run the gamut from casual to dress-up, but what they’ve got in common are carefully placed slashes and punch-outs that flash a little skin in just the right places. How to wear it in real life: Keep the look long and lean by rocking these booties with skinny jeans or allowing textured tights to peek through.

Clockwise from left: Nicole Miller, Julien Macdonald, Gianvito Rossi, Sebastian.

There are celebrities, and there are icons. But how do you become the latter? It usually starts with some talent and charisma, then, one day, a skilled photographer comes along and snaps a picture that turns into a poster, an advertisement or a magazine cover. The image becomes a classic. And so does the woman.

But aren’t sensual images like this the opposite of feminine power? After all, anyone can pose in skimpy clothing or show some skin. We say, the true lady legend understands that her sultriness is just one small aspect of her appeal. The photo may catapult her career, but she knows it’s up to her to reveal her more intellectual talents and worldly charms to have staying power. … //READ MORE

I’ve always been a little bit of a chatterbox. In the seventh grade, my music teacher threatened to ban me from the middle school concert because I couldn’t stop talking to my BFF during choral practice. Once, during my teenage years, a homeless man in New York’s Penn Station looked up from his spot on the terminal floor to tell me and my sister (another chatterbox) to shut up because our animated conversation was interrupting his nap. And early on in my career, as I played back a recording of me interviewing someone for a magazine, I realized that I was doing almost as much talking as my subject.

Damn, girl.

Through the years, I’ve learned to cut back on the chatter and make a conscious effort not to interrupt when someone else is talking. But sometimes, especially when I’m excited about the subject at hand, I still find it challenging to shut up for an extended period of time.

Sure, the gift of gab can work to your advantage in social situations like parties and job interviews. But besides getting you kicked out of choral concerts, it does have its drawbacks. The most important of which is that while you are talking, there’s one extremely important thing you cannot do very well.

You can’t listen.

The older I get, the more I realize how crucial it is to be able to listen. And I’m not talking about that half-assed “yeah, yeah, I hear you” look you give people when you’re pretending to listen but are actually preoccupied with your thoughts. I’m talking about really, truly listening to someone. I’m talking (there goes the talking again) about being in the moment, fully engaged in what another human being has to say. Without thinking about your to-do list, or about where you have to be in a half-hour. And without worrying about the next thing you need to say.

“The practice of listening is one of the most mysterious, luminous and challenging art forms on earth,” writes Mark Nepo in his beautiful book Seven Thousand Ways To Listen: Staying Close To What Is Sacred. “The task is to slow down enough and be present enough to enter each moment that calls…Are you letting fresh experience enter and combine, or are you obsessed with sorting and analyzing what comes your way? Are you able to listen and receive, or are you observing and manipulating? We all do both.”

As a journalist, I’ve found that shutting up and listening is the only way to get a good story. Yes, starting an interview with some friendly banter can help put my subject at ease. But I can’t ask those “in the moment” follow-up questions—the ones that often yield the juiciest quotes—if I’m focused on checking items off a prepared list. And I certainly won’t pick up on the person’s mood if I’m not quietly observing those gestures and tones that reveal a lot about someone’s personality.

But what about those deadly silences that might erupt if I lose track of my agenda or don’t formulate a response quickly enough? It’s a normal impulse to fill those awkward moments with chatter, but then nothing unexpected has time to develop within them. The person doing the talking has no room to reflect or reveal something deeper. Some of the best quotes have come from my sources after a long, borderline-awkward pause. So I remind myself it’s OK to let them happen.

This concept also rings true with my interactions with my kids. My daughter started conversing at 6 months, probably because I talked to her nonstop. But whenever I took a break from telling her to “look at the doggy” or “see those pretty flowers on the tree,” that’s when I got to enjoy her babbling and cooing and smiling at me. I’d given her time to absorb what I’d said, then look around and formulate her own reactions. Again, a lot of great stuff can happen during those pauses.

The older I get, the more I understand the virtue of restraint. We go through life striving to be more outgoing, more revealing—especially in this age of social media. But sometimes it makes more sense, and allows us to let more in, to go slowly.

We all want our lives, our relationships, our communication with people to be meaningful. Sometimes we want it all to be extraordinary. We want the most important people in our lives to understand that we understand them. That we hear them.

A few years back I took voice lessons with a great teacher who taught me that yes, sometimes you need to hold a note for effect, but other times you should just release it. Now, as you can imagine, I am inclined to sing the hell out of something. To belt it out. But there’s a time and place for lingering, and sometimes holding back is the way to go.

For many of us, restraint is difficult. (But there’s so much to express! So much to let out!) But Nepo explains that listening itself is the ultimate form of connection. “We speak deeply by listening with heart to the Source, no matter who or what conveys it,” and by translating that presence not just into any old speech, but into meaningful speech. So that when something finally comes out of your mouth, it’s more than fluff.

I just love that. Because we all want our lives, our relationships, our communication with people to be meaningful. Sometimes we want it all to be extraordinary, in no way superficial or ho-hum. We want the most important people in our lives to understand that we understand them. That we hear them.

Nepo wrote this book after he learned that he was losing his hearing. They say we don’t realize what we have until it’s slipping away, so maybe he was only able to comprehend the gift of listening as his ears began to fail him. Luckily, he grasped the beauty and complexity of this ability—including the fact that listening involves much more than hearing. It requires you to open your heart and mind as much as your ears.

Why bother? “Because listening stitches the world together,” Nepo writes. “Listening is the doorway to everything that matters…And none of what matters reveals itself unless we stop to listen…This is the work of being human, from which no one is exempt.”

If you think fashion is all over the place these days, just wait until you see what’s in store for fall. The decade surfing continues, with 1970s, ’80s and ’90s details competing for attention. Pants are both skinny and flared, long or cropped, loose or stretchy. Shiny metallics are in, yet minimalist monochrome is everywhere. The Far East is an inspiration, yet so are the Victorians. Confused yet? We say, don’t think too hard about it. Just go with the flow. Or with the cropped. You know what we mean.

Here, we break it down for you with the top 10 fashion trends of the season. … //READ MORE

She gave the world the little black dress and the bestselling perfume of all time. She designed clothing that freed women from the constraints of the corset, with details—think rounded collars and quilted handbags—that spurred nearly a century of imitations. But Parisian fashion legend Coco Chanel also gave us some pretty damn good quotes. Here are 15 you’ll appreciate. … //READ MORE

You know you need to keep a donut in your car trunk at all times. (No, not the sugar-coated concoction you crave when you’re PMS, but nice try.) Maybe you learned the hard way that you also need a jack and a tire iron. But that’s not all, ladies. Here are 10 other essentials you might not have thought about stashing in your vehicle. But you absolutely should.

(P.S. We don’t have to tell you to always keep your car manual in the glove compartment…right?)

1. A good-quality flashlight. The HybridLight 160Y is solar-powered via any light source (with battery backup) and doubles as a charger. $40 at hybridlight.com.

2. Steel widow punch. If you find yourself trapped in your vehicle, the CommuteMate Universal Emergency Hammer Window Punch and Seat Belt Cutter comes to your rescue by cutting through seatbelts and breaking glass. $25 for a w0-pack at Walmart.com.

3. A jumper. Fueled by a lithium-ion battery, a fully charged PowerAll Deluxe can jump-start your vehicle 20 times. $140 at thepowerall.com. Or, go old school and use a pair of jumper cables.

4. Cell-phone juice. In the event that your phone’s battery conks out, you can always rely on a solar charger. Just face the panel of the Fuse 6W Solar Charger toward the sun, then plug in your phone (or any USB device) and you’re good to go. $130 at voltaic systems.com.

5. Sneakers and socks. Sometimes those stilettos just won’t do. If you suddenly break down on your way back from work (or the club),  you’ll have the right gear for walking or changing a tire. You know where to buy these. Now do it.

6. A list of emergency phone numbers. If your cell dies, do you remember anyone’s number, including your own? We thought so. You might want to laminate this one.

7. Nourishment. Stash a few snack bars in the glove compartment, in case you find yourself stranded. More important, keep some H2O in the trunk to avoid dehydration; carton containers make storage a snap. $16 for an eight-pack of half-liter cartons at boxedwaterisbetter.com.

8. Garden gloves. If you are indeed faced with changing a tire or engaging in some equally heavy-duty (and dirty) lifting, do your hands a favor and protect them with some safety or garden gloves, like these by HandMaster, $7 on Amazon.com.

9. First aid kit. Whether you’re contending with minor boo-boos or something more ominous, make sure you’ve got the equipment to heal and protect you and your loved ones while you’re on (or off) the road. A good bet is this AAA 121-piece compact case available from Amazon.com.

10. Emergency flares. For those times you might encounter car trouble after sunset, glow-in-the dark warning triangles or flares make pulling over to the side of the road less dangerous. These weather-resistent LED emergency beacon flares from First Alert are a wise investment. $25 at Amazon.com.

For more on what you need to know about your vehicle and how to fix it, check out our story “10 Things You Should Know About Your Car.”

Safe driving!