Gotta Getta Guru

We don’t really own anyone or anything. All we have is this moment. Why waste it in worries, regrets and sour fantasies? Why not embrace it with attention, affection and appreciation?

This is what one of my three gurus posted on his Facebook page today. That’s right, I have three gurus—people who are helping to guide me on my spiritual path. And yes, this one is an avid Facebooker and references pop culture in his teachings.

This guru is Nithya Shanti, and he is a graduate of a top management school in India. He became a Buddhist monk in his 20s and is now a spiritual guru who conducts his joy shops all over the world. My next guru, Sadhguru, is the very picture of what a guru ought to look like: He’s a mystic and spiritual leader to hundreds and thousands of people all over the world. He has ashrams in India and throughout the United States. He too is tech savvy and very visible on social media. My third guru is an American based in California. His name is Jack Kornfield and he runs the Spirit Rock meditation centre in Berkeley.

It is a coincidence that all three of my gurus are men. As a seeker, I had no plans and indeed very little hope of finding a single guru of either sex, let alone three. But the universe works in mysterious ways and now I have three significant others in my life who are slowly but surely leading me on my spiritual journey.

Lest you think of this as new–age nonsense, it really isn’t. If you wanted to learn French, wouldn’t you go out and find an expert to teach you? People all over the world tune into home-related TV shows to watch “experts” of all kinds show you how to do all sorts of things. Hey, once I even watched Martha Stewart show me how to fold a towel! Seeing that finding your peace is slightly more difficult than folding a towel (although Nithya would say it is simpler) , having a guru to show you the way is not esoteric but essential.

They say that when a student is ready the right teacher appears. However, you will need to be open to the possibility. Finding a guru is serious business and cannot be conventionally planned, but there are things you can keep in mind during your quest. In essence, everyone you meet is actually a guru (a teacher or, to give the word its true meaning, “a dispeller of darkness”), because one can learn something from every person and every interaction in life. Keep in mind, though, that finding that special someone requires persistence. It took me over 15 years to find my first one.

Here are a few tips to help you on your quest to find a guru of your own.

Be open minded. Gurus come in many hues, so be certain that you will eventually meet the right one (or ones) for you. When I first began looking for a Guru, I had already been seeking spiritual answers from both within and outside of religion. I quite quickly realized that a religious affiliation would not work for me and that I would need something that did not require blind faith. If a yogi is too esoteric for you, then look for someone who speaks to your heart and in your language. To quote Sadhguru, “A genuine seeker, a person who develops an urge within, will always find his Guru. He may find it in a man, in a woman, or he may find it even in a rock. He will definitely find it somewhere, there is no doubt about it “

Be skeptical. Question, test and try. The right path for you may be quite unique. Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions. You may not find a quick solution, but if you get an answer that leads you in a direction that resonates with you, then this may be the right guru for you. A guru who wants unquestioning obedience and faith is not a true guru. A real guru, whether or not he or she is physically present in your life, will encourage you to think for yourself. Remember, while the actual guru is important, how his or her teachings resonate with you is more important.

Remember that faith is strictly optional. You don’t need to have complete faith in your guru, nor do you need to trust him or her without question. However, you must have faith in his/her method, at least to the extent that you give it a fair try. Believe the evidence of the method. In fact, you don’t even need to like him/her (though it helps). The best person to teach you how to fly a plane is someone who knows how to fly a plane, even if he is someone with a boring personality or a flawed personal life. A guru is no different.

Don’t expect solace. You may find it through your guru’s teachings, but that will be icing on the cake if you do. A spiritual guru is like that friend who makes you focus on the tough questions. Being with your guru is never comfortable, because they will break your long-held beliefs and force you to face the truth. That is never easy, but the rewards are tremendous.

Read and research. There is no one, sure path to finding your guru. While the right teacher will present himself/herself at the right time, you must put yourself in the path of this epiphany. Facebook, Youtube and Google are all great resources to get you started. Many gurus—Jack Kornfield, Tara Brach and Nithyashanti, to name a few—have set up shop on Facebook. Many videos are available on Youtube where you can get an idea of the different kinds of teachings available out there. Podcasts are another wonderful (and free!) option. Friends who are already on this path can point you in the right direction, and exploring yoga and meditation can also help to ease you into the process.

If you are a beginner, you may want to start your search by checking out Audio Dharma, an online archive of talks given by various speakers at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California. You can also check out the teachings of Sadhgurus, as well as those of Buddhist spiritual leader Tara Brach.  

Understand that in the end, the spiritual process is about you. Says Sadhguru, “Spiritual process does not mean looking up, or looking down, or looking around. It is about looking inward.” A guru, then, is the lens that helps you focus in the right places. “As surely as there is a voyage away, there is a journey home,” writes Jack Kornfield. May you find a wise companion to accompany you on your life’s journey.”

If you are actively seeking a guru, good luck on your spiritual journey. If you already have a guru, or have insights about the process, please share them with us here!