The Play’s the Thing

We’ve all been there. We’ve experienced heartache, disappointment or grief that can feel unbearable. And one of the worst things about these strong emotions is that they leave us feeling depleted, as though a light inside us has flickered out. And damnit, we want that light back!

The key to getting your groove back, says San Francisco stand-up comic Alicia Dattner, is “to make joy your guiding light, and to let humor into your life in order to make yourself more resilient to those ups and downs.” By getting in touch with your playful side, you’ll uncover your funny, radiant self and have more fun in relationships, lower your stress and release more of those happiness-producing endorphins.

Dattner, whom SF Weekly named best comedian in 2013, is also a spiritual coach who offers “bliss breakthrough sessions” that help people cultivate their sense of humor and transform their lives through laughter. “But you don’t actually have to be funny to tap into the power of humor,” she notes. “All you have to do is find things funny. It’s about awakening your own sense of humor and taking yourself less seriously.”

The comedian recently paired up with comedian Steve Bhaerman to promote her new series of classes called “Enlighten Up: Five Secrets to Finding Your Funny, Happy, Radiant Self.” The message she hopes to spread? “That pain exists for you to take yourself less seriously, to laugh, and to experience the joy and wonder of an infinitely perfect universe.” And the biggest payoff is that you’ll “radiate confidence and grace, attract higher and higher vibrations of experience, and magnetize yourself to shiny, happy people like you.”

Here, Dattner reveals her top five secrets for cultivating your sense of humor and making the world your playground.

Secret #1: Be present. When we’re able to be in the here and now, when we can name what is happening to us right at this very moment, we are actually tapping into the collective unconscious. When I’m on stage performing standup, to the audience it feels like I’m performing a magic trick, because I seem to know what they’re thinking and feeling, and that’s because I’m completely in the moment with them. For many of us, ego prevents us from being entirely present because it pulls our attention inward and lowers our self esteem. But if we can pull ourselves out of that, we start to tap into unconscious mind, which is seven years ahead of our conscious minds—which means we become seven years funnier! The more you can get out of your own way, the more easily you can find vision and clarity. Next time you’re not feeling present, take a deep breath, all the way into your body, and that will bring you from the head to the heart, deliver more oxygen to your brain and relieve your nervousness. Try it!

Secret #2: Play, play, play. Once we’re relaxed, we can start to connect with our inner child. Once we are present, we can ask ourselves, “How can I take this moment less seriously?” We want to be able to laugh and joke and play with our whole bodies and find the silliness in existing in our own bodies. Give yourself an irresistible invitation to play. The more you play, the more people will come and play with you. See people singing on the street? It makes you want to sing, right? Times when you don’t really feel like playing, tell yourself the story of a challenge you are facing, like “I got fired today,” but replace the significant word with a goofy word: “I got mired today.” Or tell your story with a crazy accent. Switching it up can be transformative.

Secret #3: Get a perspective. Learning to see the big picture can help you find your best sense of humor. Lightness and compassion are the hallmarks of that higher energy. The idea is to gain the perspective that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, everything and everyone everywhere are connected, that we are totally and completely loved and guided in each moment, and that being human is part of the divine play. If we know that, how could we ever forget that the truth is funny? Once we gain that spiritual awareness that we are all connected and eternal beings, we can tap into that lightness.

Secret #4: Find your truth. Live the truth of what you were meant to do on earth. Stand in the light of who you are and stop letting the environment, the people around you and your [perceived] obligations dictate how you live your life. Using humor is a brilliant way to start acclimating your real self to the world. Laugh at yourself. Tell the truth in an unexpected way or in an unexpected moment. See the humor in being human.

5. Secret #5: Practice. As a comedian, I keep asking myself how I can deliver the same joke in a new way. Come back to the light and the lightness every day. Practice laughing at yourself and cultivating a mindset where you don’t have to be perfect. In fact, do it badly, and then laugh at yourself doing it badly. Try new things and laugh when you fail. We are perfectly imperfect and making mistakes is the only way we can eventually create something new.

For more enlightening humor or to get a complimentary Bliss Breakthrough Session, visit Alicia’s website.