Now that we’re well into the new year, I’m well into writing in the paper calendar that I’ll be using until next January. Yes, you read that right—a paper calendar. Yes, I have a smartphone and yes, I know how to use the digital calendar that comes with it. In fact, I’m well versed in technology, thank you very much.
But everyone has their holiday traditions. And for me, every December, it’s purchasing a new wall calendar and, after the new year arrives, updating it month by month. I love getting my new calendar, peeling off its cellophane wrapper and pulling out the square piece of cardboard in the middle. It’s a personal process that takes place on my kitchen table. I am particular about my calendar as I have to look at it all year, and am partial to the ones with pretty pictures of faraway places—Paris, Italy, National Parks of the U.S. We’ve had them all.
For 2014, it was “1,000 Places to See Before You Die” (really it’s only 12 places with 1,000 pictures of those places, but it’s still exhilarating to think about going to the Seychelles Islands or Nicaragua). This year, however, I chose “Ireland”: stone circles, pubs, green pastures and names like Limerick and Tipperary. Haven’t been there yet but hope to someday.
My favorite part of getting a new calendar—and I have friends that do this with their paper datebooks as well—is transferring birthdays or important events from the old calendar to the new one. Lately I’ve even taken to using colored pens for different events: red for birthdays, black for work (an omen?) and blue for other family things. There is something about the act of writing that helps me feel connected to the people and events in my life more than my smart phone ever will.
Calendars are like a family history book, page by page and space by space. Who isn’t guilty of saying, “The year went so fast!” And yet if you ask someone what they did last year, they might only remember a summer vacation or death in the family. That’s why having a visual calendar—not just one on an electronic device—is so valuable. It allows you to take a quick stroll down memory lane to reflect on all that happened—the good, the bad and hopefully, the fun and the silly: My son’s graduation, my daughter getting her driver’s permit, homecoming, work and volunteer meetings (too many on my part), summer vacations and family visits, along with the mundane like flea treatments for the dogs, changing the batteries in the smoke detector, recycling and whose turn it is to clean the bathrooms.
This year especially, I’m in reflection and resolution mode to have more fun! Amidst all the meetings and lessons and appointments of daily life, how can each of us make more meaningful choices in our lives. How can we live life differently in 2015? Maybe having more blank spaces on the calendar should be a goal. It’s those little spontaneous moments of sitting around the dinner table, or going to see a movie on a rainy day at the last minute, or calling up (yes the old-fashioned way) an old friend vs. sending a text.
I know for me, my kids and parents and myself are not getting any younger. Every day truly is a gift. My kids will soon be grown. My parents live a plane ride away and my Dad has Parkinson’s. The time we do have together is more valuable to me than anything. Yet like most of us, I spend more time at work than I do at home. Quitting my job is not really an option right now, so I ask, how do I want to work differently so it’s more enjoyable and optimize the time I have with friends and family? How can I still contribute to the community without sacrificing any of the time I have left with my youngest daughter at home? What things and activities bring me the greatest joy?
Yoga, saying “no” more frequently, drinking less wine, making real time for friends and family and slowing down are all on my list of “the new me,” though deep down I know I can’t really change who I am, only how I behave and react. Plus I need to be authentic and honest with myself and others. Spending more time listening to my kids or just hanging out, and less time on Facebook might sound noble, but will I really follow through? What will take up all the white spaces on the calendar this year, despite my efforts not to fill it?
I’m not sure of all the answers yet. I am hopeful the people I care most for will still be here when 2016 rolls around. As for this coming calendar year, I plan to take it a little more slowly, breathe a little more deeply and take things one beautiful day at a time.
A version of this story originally appeared in Contributing Writer Courtney Schrieve’s blog, Desperately Seeking Zen.
